Tag Archives: introvert

“Introverts Need More Time to Think Before Speaking” and Other Bullshit

783250_39852654I am damn sick of reading “introverts (i.e. normal people) need more time to think before they speak.” It’s more bullshit spewed by the so-called “extrovert” crowd to make their obsessive mouth-flapping seem less psychotic.

Normal people think before speaking. We respect the person listening enough to put a bit of thought into what we say to them. We’re not obsessed with the sounds of our own mouths flapping. We take into account the feelings and sentiments of the people we communicate with. We feel as though a bit of thought is a good thing to include in conversation. Once again, good manners and respect are labelled as mental deficiency by those who lack them.

BoldomaticPost_Communication-starts-with-youLet’s be clear: In communication, listening is as important as — and arguably more important than — speaking. You can’t do that with your mouth open. When you take time to think about what you’re going to say before opening your mouth, you stand a chance of not sounding like a squabbling idiot every time.

Who’s the mental deficient here, really?

Phone Calls are Rude

Telephone
From Wikimedia.org

Every list of so-called “introvert” traits seems to mention a preference for email versus telephone. Let’s cut to the chase and explore why this issue is pure bullshit.

  • Telephone Calls are Rude & Intrusive: When you pick up the phone and call someone, as when you approach their door and rap on it, you are interrupting them and demanding their immediate attention. A telephone call says, “Hey you! Stop whatever you’re doing and give me your attention immediately!”
  • Emails are Courteous & Respectful. When you text/email someone, you’re delivering a message that they (via their personally-chosen system of notification) can see, consider, and respond to in their own time.

I’m sure there will be questions, such as:

  • “What about emergencies?” I’m not talking about emailing the fire department if your house is on fire. I’m talking about the 99.9% of communication that you do every single day. Do you need me immediately for a good reason? Then call. Otherwise, have the decency to realize that I may be busy with something else, and email me. I’ll email you back, because I respect your privacy as well.
  • BoldomaticPost_Phone-calls-are-rude-intrusive“It’s just easier for everyone to use the phone.” It may be easier for you to rudely interrupt someone else’s privacy to force them to listen to whatever is on your mind at that moment, yes. That’s not an argument, that’s you being an asshole.
  • “I like it when my friends call.” That’s fine — you may not often be doing anything that requires your unfettered attention. But other people are not the same as you. If you want to chat on the phone, why not text message and ask, “Have time to chat?”

There Are No “Introverts”

Being an “introvert” is a thing now. Google “introvert blog,” I dare you. Everyone has a book, or a class, or some goddamn wisdom about why it’s OK to be an “introvert,” why “introverts” are great assets for companies, or why you should nurture and celebrate your inner “introvert.” It’s a badge of honor. “Introverts” are uniting to protect their common culture.

It’s entirely a load of bullshit.

A normal peson isn’t titillated by mindless blather. A normal person’s mind is developed enough that distractions from actual thought aren’t necessary. A normal person enjoys communication with others when it’s useful and productive — which accounts for possibly 1% of communication that actually takes place in the modern world. A normal person is psychologically stable enough that they can be comfortably quiet when they have nothing to communicate.

1150833_16764320If it sounds like I’m saying that so-called “introverts” are really just normal people, and that so-called “extroversion” is a sign of mental disorder ….welcome to “Crabby Hermit.” Notice that I’m not saying that being energized by social situations makes you crazy. I am energized by some social situations; such as ones that don’t involve pointless blathering and masturbatory self-marketing. That’s normal. That means you’re learning something, and expanding your mind.

This isn’t an “introvert” blog. The concept of “introvert” is bullshit. I’m won’t be towing any “sensitive” lines here. It’s normal and healthy to recognize communication for what it is: a useful tool that doesn’t need to be used nearly as often as it is. In a world where everyone has a hammer, it’s not normal to smash everything you see. Put the hammer away until you need it, and keep your goddamned mouth shut unless you actually have something useful to convey.