Monthly Archives: August 2016

Musicians doing other people’s songs is morally equivalent to joke theft.

If a comedian performs someone else’s jokes, they are called out and shamed. However, musicians regularly perform other people’s music.

How is one bad, and the other OK?

There are discussions about this topic online (for example, here and here). The answers comes down to: music is different than comedy. “We understand that musicians might be doing someone else’s music, so that’s acceptable.”

DSC_0612That is, of course, the equivalent of saying, “We understand that comedians might be doing someone else’s jokes, so that’s acceptable.” It’s not an answer to the question, it’s an obfuscation. Saying, “we expect immoral behavior out of them” does not render that behavior moral.

When I say, “other people’s music/jokes,” I am, of course, excluding music/jokes written by someone other than a particular performer, but specifically for that performer. Hiring others to write music/jokes is a time-honored tradition, and if you explicitly buy the rights to someone else’s creation, then it’s yours. It may be lazy, but it is exempt from the moral trouble I am speaking about herein.

Am I, in fact, saying that musicians doing other people’s music is immoral? Yes, I am saying exactly that. Yes, cover bands are immoral. Calling yourself a “cover band” is the equivalent of calling yourself a “thief comic.” It may be honest, but it’s not morally acceptable.

Your baby is not special.

Babies are boring and stupid. That’s not a criticism, it’s biology. Parent’s shape babies into adults that are, hopefully, neither boring nor stupid.

16e13fb9e6fcda7c39080a29a02b4a7cBut the fact remains that there are LOTS of boring and stupid adult humans. And guess what all of them, no matter how boring and stupid they may be, can do? They can have babies of their own. Even complete morons, provided some medical condition doesn’t otherwise prevent it, can have babies.

That’s why your baby isn’t special; at least not to anyone but you. That’s biology, too. You need to find your baby very special so that you’re compelled to keep it alive. However, you should be aware that your baby is, objectively, just as boring and stupid as the boring and stupid babies that morons create.

So when you present your baby to me, don’t be offended because I couldn’t care less. Congratulations, you had sex without protection. Whoop-dee-doo. That doesn’t make you special, and it doesn’t make the result special.

Now, if you raise that boring and stupid baby to become a decent, productive, and kind adult, then you’ll have my kudoes.